Lady Poppycock;
Is it filthy to imagine another ones fantasies while you masturbate in the kitchen and use the marmalade to boost your orgasm? Also I was wondering if you could tell me a few of yours fantasies so I can use them to maximise my orgasm!

Theese questions here are constantly getting filthier, but I like it in a naughty little way I daresay.

Well, my dear lady Poppycock. (What a charming nickname indeed!) If you have been reading my answers to the other dirty questions here on Mr. Gudmundsson´s splendid website, you should know that there is nothing filthy about masturbating using marmalade in some way. Whether it´s filthy to imagine other people fantasies really depends on the dirtines of the fantasie itself. If they are related to fairy tales or somekind of jelly then you shouldn´t worry about them. On the other hand I´m not really found of your idea about masturbating in the kitchen. Why on earth do you want to masturbate there when you can be intimate with yourself for example in the closet or even under the bed?

If you want to know something about my fantasies Lady Poppycock you should carefully read through my answers and take notes. I do though like wearing a Little red riding hood costume.

  Sir MacHumphry @ 10:21 PM

 
Mr. Kömm:
My problem is that I have a "thing" for hot young Thai-boys, and my dream is to go on an "exotic" trip to Thailand. I don't have any money for the trip because I don't work like other people, I only watch pornographic videos all day. I tried to get a loan from my mother but she went crazy and told me to go and fuck myself. I don't know what to do. Please help me sir, my hunger for hot young Thai-boys is calling to you!

Well, my dear little rice-eater lover. Your problem is indeed a common one. It is natural for a person to desire somekind of a relationship with someone of the lowest order socially speaking. Often young lads like yourself want to get humiliated by little boys who eat rice all day because of some perveted reason. Myself went on a sex mission to Thailand when I was younger but with little success. Nobody wanted to make love to me, even if I offreded them considerably high amount of money. My advice to you is that if you haven´t discovered the marmalade yet, you really should try it. Masturbating covered with this magical stuff is an experience you will never forget.

  Sir MacHumphry @ 10:28 PM