Lady Poppycock;
Is it filthy to imagine another ones fantasies while you masturbate in the kitchen and use the marmalade to boost your orgasm? Also I was wondering if you could tell me a few of yours fantasies so I can use them to maximise my orgasm!

Theese questions here are constantly getting filthier, but I like it in a naughty little way I daresay.

Well, my dear lady Poppycock. (What a charming nickname indeed!) If you have been reading my answers to the other dirty questions here on Mr. Gudmundsson´s splendid website, you should know that there is nothing filthy about masturbating using marmalade in some way. Whether it´s filthy to imagine other people fantasies really depends on the dirtines of the fantasie itself. If they are related to fairy tales or somekind of jelly then you shouldn´t worry about them. On the other hand I´m not really found of your idea about masturbating in the kitchen. Why on earth do you want to masturbate there when you can be intimate with yourself for example in the closet or even under the bed?

If you want to know something about my fantasies Lady Poppycock you should carefully read through my answers and take notes. I do though like wearing a Little red riding hood costume.

  posted by Egill Guðmundsson @ 10:21 PM

 
Mr. Kömm:
My problem is that I have a "thing" for hot young Thai-boys, and my dream is to go on an "exotic" trip to Thailand. I don't have any money for the trip because I don't work like other people, I only watch pornographic videos all day. I tried to get a loan from my mother but she went crazy and told me to go and fuck myself. I don't know what to do. Please help me sir, my hunger for hot young Thai-boys is calling to you!

Well, my dear little rice-eater lover. Your problem is indeed a common one. It is natural for a person to desire somekind of a relationship with someone of the lowest order socially speaking. Often young lads like yourself want to get humiliated by little boys who eat rice all day because of some perveted reason. Myself went on a sex mission to Thailand when I was younger but with little success. Nobody wanted to make love to me, even if I offreded them considerably high amount of money. My advice to you is that if you haven´t discovered the marmalade yet, you really should try it. Masturbating covered with this magical stuff is an experience you will never forget.

  posted by Egill Guðmundsson @ 10:28 PM

 
My name is Johnas and I was a student in 6-Y. I think alot about filthy things and my favourit thing is my buttplug. I use it every time I get chance to and then I always turn off my phone. Am I abnormal my dear McHumphry?

Yours sincerely,
Johnas

Well my dear old chap mister Johnas. When I was a little boy I masturbated extremly often. Every time I got an orgasm I screamed far beyond the norm and often I embaressed my parents infront of their noble friends. When I discovered the marmalade I started masturbating of more intensity and it was then when my father decided to buy me a buttplug. He knew by himself how soothing and relaxing this device is and that it would make me stop screaming every time I got an orgasm. I use it still when I´m felling distressed. My dear Johnas, you are far from being abnormal.

  posted by Egill Guðmundsson @ 8:14 PM

 
Fräulein Liebe:
I was wondering, have you and Lord Paddington put marmelade over your bodies and made wild love in a cinema?

This is indeed an abominable question. I only put marmalade on my body on my most sincere and private moments. As you ought to know I´m a gentleman of the highest order and a nobleman indeed. It´s completely disgraceful that you are implying that I and Lord Paddington have a homosexual relationship. Despite the fact that Lord Paddington is very handsome and has a very arousing body I would never, I repeat, NEVER do anything of this dirty kind. This is indeed thoroughly unpleasant and disagreeable question!

  posted by Egill Guðmundsson @ 9:01 PM

 
I´m so excited. My special marmaladenight is today.

  posted by Egill Guðmundsson @ 6:46 PM

 
Sir MacHumphry,
I was wondering; is it naughty of me to think about Mr. Gudmundsson, Aríann, Trölla and Handsome Hawk taking each other in the ass with "tilhlaupi" while I double click the mouse??? It seems like a dirty little thing but it feels soooooooo good.

Yours Sincerely, hver önnur

Well, you are a filthy little thing aren´t you? This fantasy of your´s is quite arousing but immoral I daresay. Why don´t you think of a small valley with woods and fields and little rivers? I actually don´t know what this "tilhlaupi" means, but if it´s an Icelandic word for jelly or even marmalade then you´re not quite as naughty indeed. But PLEASE stop thinking dirty thoughts about Mr. Gudmundsson. He dosn´t like pervertism of this kind.


  posted by Egill Guðmundsson @ 6:10 PM

 
Fräulein Liebe: Is it normal to love when your girlfriend licks your asshole while you are farting and looking at a photo of a pandabear?

I´ve never heard about anything like this before so I had to try it myself I daresay. Because I haven´t got any girlfriend I had to use my faithful dog Thatcher to do the dirty part. I have to say that this is very filthy and unmoral. I felt very ashamed afterwards and I tried to wash the dirt of my soul by drinking alot of marmalade but it didn´t work. I don´t like you Fräulein Liebe.

  posted by Egill Guðmundsson @ 6:47 PM